The first post with the beer that started it all. This was the beer that I received my proverbial first sip from as a 4 year old. It was wretched then and nothing has changed. That taste of stale urine mixed with club soda kept me from anything alcohol related for another 7 years. The Silver Bullet, a true testament to the American ideals of complacency, mediocrity and douchbaggery.
Americans are reviled worldwide for their ignorance. As evidenced by their love of light lager and complete lack of knowlege of all the horribly racist and sexist shit the Heritage Foundation has brought on the world, funded by the Coors family, of course. But who really gives a shit? This is America, we like our blowjobs outside of the White House, our homosexuals unwed and our beer cheap.
This of course brings up the ever present wallet dilemma that Coors and the other big three thrive on. It's a simple matter of quantity over quality. When you know that all you really want to do is make a lot of bad decisions that night, why would you spend $13 on a six pack, when you can spend it on a case and spread those horrible decisions around to friends and possibly strangers?
The smell of a freshly cracked can alone reminds me of the cesspool of a town I grew up in, and immediately charges me with the duty to make it a night everyone else will want to forget. Will I ever pay for a Coor's Light? No. Will I drink it if it's free? Of fucking course. And later I'll tell you a blowjob story that'll make you dick scream.
